Trader Joe’s Vanilla Cultured Coconut Milk

Trader Joe’s Cultured Coconut Milk Vanilla. Yuck!

Trader Joe’s Vanilla Cultured Coconut Milk. I knew this day would come! Many of you call me a Trader Joe’s Fanboy and generally I like most Trader Joe’s products or I wouldn’t shop there every day. I am finally rating one of the products the lowest rating I can give something from Trader Joe’s!

I was picking my weekly allotment of regular yogurt for child #2 who eats yogurt like it’s going out of style. I looked up and I saw this thing in a yogurt container called Trader Joe’s Vanilla Cultured Coconut Milk. Clearly Trader Joe’s is trying to cater to people that a) a fetish with the newest hot thing, coconut milk and b) don’t want or can’t eat dairy products. If you are the 1st camp, you might find this product mildly interesting but if you are looking for a yogurt replacement product, you can forget about it!

When I got it home and before I opened the container, I looked at the ingredients and it was full of coconut milk, coconut meat and tapioca. Hmmm…. coconut pudding? But if only it were that good. This is Vegan and there are no dairy products in it, but that is exactly what it needs! First off, the color is like a sick, pale, light grey color that is hard to describe. It doesn’t have texture like yogurt, more like jelly. I smelled it and it smelled like coconut, of course so no surprised there. I got a spoonful of it and tasted it and I have to say it’s one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever had from Trader Joe’s! It had this weird metallic taste and did have some coconut but it was pretty mild and there was some vanilla in there too. The texture was just plain weird like a cross between yogurt and jelly. This is obvious from the tapioca in there. It was all I could do to keep it in my mouth. I would run screaming from this! A big YUCK!

I don’t know where they got the “cultured” in the title, unless they think blending coconut milk and tapioca and giving it that title made it seem more yogurt-like. I think Trader Joe’s missed this one by a long shot. They do have other flavors, mainly fruit flavors and maybe they taste better, but really I’m not sure how much better they would be from here.

I have never done this before, but I am going to rate this Trader Joe’s Vanilla Cultured Coconut Milk a big fat 1. Yuck!

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11 Replies to “Trader Joe’s Vanilla Cultured Coconut Milk”

    1. I love it too. It’s kinda like pudding/greek yogurt but sorta satisfyingly slimy. I love the lack of dairy too. I have tried other dairy free yogurts (soy, almond, coconut) by other brands and didn’t like them as much as I like this.

  1. I just got the blueberry flavor cultured coconut milk, and I absolutely love it! It is delicious! I haven’t had the vanilla, but I’m telling you the blueberry rocks!

  2. I thought it tasted really good compared to a lot of other non-dairy yogurts I’ve tried. I really enjoyed the vanilla and didn’t mind the texture, it definitely isn’t a thick yogurt like Greek yogurt, but it definitely didn’t have a jelly consistency. I wonder if the one you tried wasn’t fresh, or was maybe on the tail end of it’s shelf life?

  3. I thought it was delicious! I recently had to stop eating dairy products for health reasons. I was very dissapointed with other dairy substitutes (like soy yogurt…yuck!) but this is nice, light, and refreshing. I make parfait out of it by adding granola, raisins, and banana!

  4. I bought the vanilla flavor and it was not a jelly flavor but not a thick texture right out of the package. But I actually ate half one day and put the other half in a container and ate the next day and it had more of a thicker texture.

  5. Omg, I love this yogurt! It tastes like cake batter to me. But I hate dairy yogurts so I was glad it didn’t taste like that.

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