We Are Deep Into Pumpkinpalooza Season at Trader Joe’s
Everything I own is starting to smell like pumpkin spice.
Welcome to the chaos. It’s officially pumpkin season at Trader Joe’s and things are moving fast. I have bought more products this week than I can possibly review in a single post, which is both a blessing and a problem I did not anticipate when I started this thing. I’m reviewing as fast as I can eat, which is saying something.
Here’s what you need to understand about this time of year: Trader Joe’s drops product after product between now and Thanksgiving and the pace is genuinely relentless. My strategy is to pick the things I think you’ll actually want to know about and let the rest go. Some weeks that’s harder than others. This was one of the harder weeks because there’s a lot going on and I have opinions about most of it.
This week is a full pumpkin spice immersion and I want to say upfront that I went in trying to keep an open mind. You know how I feel about the pumpkin spice industrial complex. I love actual pumpkin and squash. Roasted, in soup, stuffed, as a pasta filling. All of that. The spice blend though is a different animal entirely and Trader Joe’s leans into it harder than anyone. The good news is that some of this week’s products showed real restraint with the spice. The bad news is that at least one of them showed absolutely none.
Two products stood out above everything else this week and I’ll tell you right now they are at opposite ends of the spectrum. One of them is a bread I had genuinely high hopes for that ended up being a lot more complicated than I expected. And the other is a bottled cocktail that my son and my wife both tasted and then looked at me with expressions I can only describe as betrayed. More on both below.
This week’s cart:
- Trader Joe’s Apple Danish
- Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Sourdough
- Trader Joe’s Fall Leaf Tortilla Chips
- Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Oat Bites
- Trader Joe’s “This Pumpkin Walks Into A Bar” Bar
- Trader Joe’s Halloween Joe Joe’s
- Trader Joe’s Pumpkin and Spice Brioche Liege Waffles
- Trader Joe’s Spicy Buffalo Cheddar
- Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Spice Espresso Martini
Here are nine product reviews this week. There are a couple of winners and one big loser that I would avoid at all costs.
Let’s get into it.
Trader Joe’s Mini Apple Danish Pastries
$4.99/9.59 Oz (8 mini Danishes)
I am always happy to see a product at Trader Joe’s with the Made in France stamp. I don’t know why but for some reason those products seem to be a little higher quality than most of our domestic foods. Or maybe Trader Joe’s just picks the very best from France and we get to enjoy it here!
What says Fall more than an Apple Danish? Not much. Freshly picked apples are everywhere right now and having a nice Danish for breakfast on a crisp cool morning fresh out of the oven is sublime. This package has 8 “mini” Danishes. They are about 80 calories each, so a couple won’t set you back very far in the calorie count. The only downside of these is that they have to be made in an oven. Ok, maybe not absolutely, but there are no directions for an air fryer on these so I go with Trader Joe’s on this.
These filled the kitchen with a heavenly apple spice scent and I could see the pastry browning up and puffing up in the oven. After about 22 minutes I pulled the baking sheet (make sure you use parchment paper like they ask) and let them cool for a few minutes.
I have to say these are worth every penny. You cannot get much better at your local bakery if you tried. They aren’t overly sweet. The pastry dough is crispy and flaky. The apple filling is appley and slightly spiced. These are excellent!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 9/10
Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Sourdough
$4.99 / 17.63 oz
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5/10
Best For: French toast, people who like a very soft bread with mild seasonal flavor, anyone who isn’t a sourdough purist
Skip If: You buy sourdough for the sour, or you want a bread that can hold up as sandwich bread
I had real hopes for this one. I love actual sourdough bread. I love pumpkin. On paper this should have been a slam dunk. In practice, it’s complicated.
Let me start with the good news: the pumpkin spice is restrained. Pleasantly mild, which I genuinely appreciate because I have been burned by aggressive spicing on other products this week and this bread at least had a light touch. So they got that right.
Here’s where it falls apart for me. The bread is very soft. Like old school American white bread soft. That particular pillowy texture that has nothing to do with a proper sourdough loaf. I could detect the faintest whisper of sour and I’m pretty sure I know why. They list commercial yeast in the ingredients, which means this is not fermented the way real sourdough is. The sour flavor comes from vinegar. And look, I know there are no regulations around the word sourdough, you can slap it on anything, but as someone who makes his own bread and has opinions about it, the vinegar workaround is a cheat. There I said it.
There’s also a lingering sweetness in the background that doesn’t quite work for me as everyday toast or sandwich bread. It’s subtle but it’s there.
What this bread actually wants to be is French toast bread. Soft, slightly sweet, mild pumpkin spice in the background? That would be genuinely excellent. As regular toast it just misses. I see people online raving about it and I get it, some of you are not bread snobs and this is a fun seasonal novelty. I am clearly not the target audience here.
Trader Joe’s Fall Leaf Tortilla Chips
$3.99 / 14 oz | Kosher
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 9/10
Best For: Fall parties, anyone who wants a stunning chip and dip spread, people who care about both form and function
Skip If: You need your corn chips to have some kind of seasoning beyond a hint of lime
I’m not going to overthink this one. These are corn chips. Good corn chips, but corn chips. What makes them special is everything around that fact.
They come in three fall shapes and three colors: yellow, orange and red. They look absolutely stunning on a table next to some salsa and guacamole. The kind of thing that makes people say “oh wow” when they see the spread. The colors are all from natural sources too, carrots, beets, tomatoes and pumpkin. No artificial dyes, no weird chemical flavors. Just vegetables doing double duty as food coloring, which is exactly the kind of thing Trader Joe’s does well when they’re paying attention.
The flavor is a gentle hint of lime on a well salted corn chip. Perfectly crunchy. Nothing offensive. Nothing trying too hard. These chips understand their assignment: be the vehicle for whatever dip you put next to them, and look great doing it.
At $3.99 for 14 ounces these are great value and if you’re hosting anything this fall, grab a bag. Your guests will notice.
Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Oat Bites
$3.99 / 7.8 oz | Gluten Free
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 8/10
Best For: Gluten free snackers, lunchbox additions, purse snacks, anyone who wants something individually wrapped and grab and go
Skip If: You’re watching sugar closely (10 grams per bite adds up fast if you lose track)
Gluten free folks, these are for you. Worth knowing about.
Bobo’s started the oat bite craze a few years back and Trader Joe’s, as they always do, noticed the trend and arrived with their own version. Whether they’re working with Bobo’s directly or going through a third party I can’t say for certain, but the format is identical. Small, compact, individually wrapped, about the size of a large marble.
My main task with these was the same as with every other pumpkin product this week: is the spice reasonable or did they go overboard? Happy to report it’s reasonable. The pumpkin spice is present without being the only thing you taste, and the combination of oats and filling is genuinely satisfying in the way these bites usually are. I’ve reviewed the PB&J and Raspberry versions in the past and liked both of them. These hold up to that standard.
The one thing I want you to know going in: at 140 calories and the size of a marble, three of these disappear very quickly and you may not notice until the math catches up with you. Ten grams of sugar per bite means the calories add up faster than the size suggests. Not a reason to avoid them, just worth knowing before you eat half the bag while you’re on a phone call.
Throw one in a kid’s lunch, toss a couple in your bag for the afternoon. That’s the use case and they deliver on it.
Trader Joe’s “This Pumpkin Walks Into A Bar” Bar
$2.49 / 7.8 oz | Kosher | Limited
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 8/10
Best For: Backpack snacks, lunchboxes, anyone who wants a semi nutritious on the go option with a subtle seasonal flavor
Skip If: You need this to be gluten free (the oat bites above are your move)
I have been buying these bars for a long time. Longer than I want to admit. I was feeding these to my kids when they were toddlers. The blueberry version is still my all time favorite in this lineup. Weird not having small kids around to hand them to anymore, but that’s a whole other post.
Trader Joe’s has done many different flavors of these over the years and the pumpkin spice version is one of the better seasonal ones because the spice stays in its lane. It’s there, it’s pleasant, it’s not trying to dominate. The bar is what it’s always been: chewy, slightly sweet, satisfying enough to bridge the gap between meals without making you feel like you just ate dessert.
These are not gluten free, which is where the oat bites above have the edge for that crowd. Otherwise these and the oat bites are in very similar territory. Semi nutritious, portable, individually wrapped and easy to grab on the way out the door. For energetic kids, working lunches, or an afternoon snack when you don’t want to think about it, these deliver. I’d pick up a couple of boxes.
Trader Joe’s Halloween Joe Joe’s Cookies
$4.49 / 16 oz | Kosher
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 6/10
Best For: Kids, Oreo lovers, Halloween parties where visual appeal matters more than flavor complexity
Skip If: You eat cookies for the actual flavor
Let me be honest with you: I have never been an Oreo person. As a kid I ate them when they were available because they contained sugar and I had no self regulation around sugar as a child, but I never sought them out. I find them sweet without having much real flavor. The Joe Joe’s have always occupied the same space for me.
That said, I have to give full credit for the presentation here. Trader Joe’s went all out on the Halloween theme. The cookie part has a variety of different Halloween designs stamped on it and the creme filling is a bright orange that is genuinely festive. These look great in a bowl at a Halloween party. Kids are going to love them and the visual is genuinely fun.
But I eat with my mouth, not my eyes, and what I taste is mostly sugar. Sweet cookie, sweet creme, not a lot going on beyond that. The Joe Joe’s formula is what it is. These are very popular and obviously keep selling or Trader Joe’s wouldn’t keep making them, so clearly plenty of people disagree with me. If you love Joe Joe’s you’re going to love these. If you’re on the fence, the orange creme is fun but it doesn’t change the fundamental experience.
Trader Joe’s Pumpkin and Spice Brioche Liege Waffles
$4.49 / 11.64 oz | Six count
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 8/10
Best For: Waffle fans who want something that eats more like a donut, weekend breakfasts, anyone who liked the strawberry version
Skip If: You’re looking for the strawberry version, because this one doesn’t quite reach those heights
Quick note before we get into this: these are not in the frozen section. I spent a good ten minutes walking freezer aisles before a manager walked me over to the bread section. They’re shelf stable. Find them with the bread. You’re welcome.
I reviewed the Strawberry Liege Waffles back in June and gave them a 9 out of 10 because they were genuinely excellent and unlike anything else in the store. These waffles have that same donut dough quality that I loved. It’s like someone made donut batter, pressed it in a waffle iron instead of dropping it in a fryer, and ended up with something entirely their own. The pearled sugar is visible in the batter and gives you these little pockets of caramelized sweetness when you toast them. They’re individually wrapped so you can open the bag and not race to finish them before they go stale.
The pumpkin spice version does what this week’s best products have done: keeps the spice in check. It’s there in a pleasant background way that feels seasonal without being aggressive. I can see these waffles topped with a scoop of maple sugar ice cream and drizzled with chocolate syrup for dessert! Yum!
Why a point lower than the strawberry version? The strawberries. In the original you’d hit chunks of actual strawberry that gave you a burst of fruit flavor. In this version the pumpkin spice is nice but it’s just a flavored waffle. Nothing breaks up the texture or gives you a surprise. It’s very good. The strawberry one was better.
Trader Joe’s Spicy Buffalo Cheddar Cheese
$8.99 / lb
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 8/10
Best For: Taco Tuesday, nachos, grilled cheese, wing dipping, anyone who likes their cheese to have an opinion
Skip If: You’re not built for heat (this is spicier than you might expect)
This one is not new but I spotted it at the cheese counter and immediately knew it was going on my tacos. Sometimes you pick something up because it speaks to you. This cheese spoke to me in a very clear voice.
According to Trader Joe’s, this is made specifically for them by a cheesemaker in New York. They take cheddar and work jalapenos and buffalo wing sauce directly into the cheese during production. You can actually see the bits of pepper and spice suspended throughout. The result is a creamier cheddar, not the aged crumbly kind, which means it melts beautifully.
I ate a few pieces on crackers first just to get a clean read on the flavor and it’s exactly what it promises. That familiar buffalo wing tang paired with real cheddar flavor, with jalapeno heat underneath. On tacos it was genuinely excellent. But the applications don’t stop there. Melt this into a dip. Put it in a grilled cheese and prepare to have your afternoon changed. Drizzle it over nachos. Use it as a wing dipping sauce by melting it down. It’s a versatile cheese with real personality.
Fair warning: it’s spicier than the name suggests. If you’re sensitive to heat, start slow.
Drink of the Week: Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Spice Espresso Martini
$10.99 / 375 mL
⭐ 1/10
Best For: Honestly, I don’t know. Science experiments?
Skip If: You have any fond feelings about either espresso martinis or your evening
I want you to picture the product development meeting where this was born. Someone had just come back from a California bar where espresso martinis are genuinely everywhere right now. Someone else had been swimming in pumpkin spice proposals for two months. And then the moment happened. The two trends collided. Someone said “what if we combined them” and the room got excited and nobody stopped to think about whether it was a good idea.
When espresso martinis are made by a bartender who knows what they’re doing, they are sublime. Cold, rich coffee flavor, just enough sweetness, a gorgeous frothy top. I have had some excellent ones over the past couple of years and the trend is well earned.
This is not that. Not even close.
The espresso flavor is weak, like someone described coffee to someone who had never seen it. The pumpkin spice is overwhelming and when it meets the alcohol it produces a flavor I can only describe as chemical. Not spiced. Not warming. Chemical. I poured a glass and handed it to my wife and my son to taste. They both nearly gagged. That is three separate opinions arriving at the same conclusion.
Save your eleven dollars. Buy a bag of the Fall Leaf Chips and some good salsa. Buy three of those Pumpkin Oat Bites. Buy the Buffalo Cheddar and make the best nachos of your life. Do literally anything else with this money.
1 out of 10 and I am being generous.
That’s the week. The Fall Leaf Chips are the sleeper hit of this roundup and if you’re hosting anything in October, grab a bag. The Buffalo Cheddar is going into my regular rotation immediately and if you haven’t put buffalo flavored cheese on a taco yet, that is a project for this weekend. The Liege Waffles are worth a box if you liked the strawberry version. And if someone you know is planning to buy the Pumpkin Spice Espresso Martini, you have both the information and the moral obligation to stop them.
~Steve, Chief Food Taster
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