Move over, hidden stash of emergency chocolate! There’s a new after-bedtime indulgence in town that combines two of life’s greatest pleasures: dessert and beer. For those nights when you’ve finally conquered the mountain of laundry and just want to reward yourself without washing another dish, Hardywood’s Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Imperial Porter might be your new best friend.
I know, I know this isn’t exclusively a Trader Joe’s product. It comes from a brewery in Virginia, but I think you will be hard pressed to find this beer in any store near where you are unless you are in Virginia. (Sorry for those of you that can’t buy beer at a Trader Joe’s, talk to your state government to get those laws changed)
The Basics
I have a deep history with beer. I spent several years living in Germany in my early 20s and came to love excellent beer and when I moved back to the USA I picked up where I left off in Germany and really got into making my own beer and became and avid homebrewer for many years. At one point, I was a judge for homebrew competitions so I was exposed to a lot of different styles of beer. I always loved Porters because they were less bitter than Stouts but had a richer mouthfeel. They just sat right with me. So I was excited when I saw this beer on the shelves at Trader Joe’s.
This liquid dessert masquerading as beer is Trader Joe’s best kept secret, it’s not even wearing the TJ’s label, yet you’ll be hard-pressed to find it anywhere else. At a mighty 9.2% ABV, this isn’t your casual “I’ll just have one while cooking dinner” beer this is more of a “the kids are finally asleep and I’ve earned this” treat. Consider yourself warned: one 16oz can packs the punch of nearly two regular beers, making it a surprisingly economical choice for the budget-conscious indulger. See? You’re actually saving money!
Flavor Profile
This imperial porter delivers exactly what it promises on the label – a rich, decadent experience that faithfully recreates the magic of TJ’s beloved Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups, but in grown-up liquid form. The dark chocolate notes aren’t your watered down hot cocoa packet variety we’re talking sophisticated, slightly bitter dark chocolate that makes you feel fancy even if you’re drinking it in your fuzzy slippers.
The peanut butter element manages to be present without venturing into artificial candy territory – it’s more “I just spread fresh peanut butter on warm toast” than “I raided my kid’s Halloween candy.” The porter base provides a robust foundation that carries these flavors beautifully, with a smoothness that defies its high alcohol content. There’s a pleasant warmth that reminds you it’s definitely beer, not a milkshake, though you might be tempted to pair it with a straw anyway.
I was surprised at how well the peanut and chocolate flavors are integrated in this beer. You can definitely taste the alcohol as the dark flavors linger on your palate. It’s a little drier than I expected. I thought it would be a sweet bomb, but it’s not too bad. This is not a session beer, but sipping beer for sure.
Food Pairing Suggestions
Unlike those fancy beer tastings that require a cheese board more expensive than your monthly coffee budget, this porter plays nicely with everyday treats. Try it with a handful of salted pretzels you found in the back of the pantry (we won’t tell if they’re slightly stale). For the kosher-keeping crowd, it’s divine with TJ’s kosher dark chocolate almonds. Vegan friends, pair it with TJ’s chocolate chunk vegan cookies that you bought “for the kids.” (our gluten free friends are out of luck since this beer contains gluten. Sorry!)
The “Busy Person” Rating
On our scientifically imprecise scale of “I have time to brew my own artisanal beer” to “I’m drinking this while simultaneously helping with algebra homework, cooking dinner, and ordering birthday presents online,” this beer ranks a solid “I deserve these 20 minutes of peace and will enjoy every sip.” It requires no prep work beyond opening the can and finding a clean glass (though straight from the can works when you’re hiding in the pantry for a moment of solitude).
When to Enjoy
This potent porter isn’t your “quick refreshment while making dinner” beer. Save it for:
- That magical hour after the kids are asleep but before your own exhaustion kicks in
- The reward for finally finishing that presentation that’s been hanging over your head all week
- Your “book club” that stopped discussing books six meetings ago
- Those rare moments when you can actually sit down and watch something that isn’t animated
Value Assessment
At around $3-4 per can (depending on your location, taxes are different), this porter delivers luxury vibes without the luxury price tag. When you consider its dessert-replacing potential and higher alcohol content, it’s practically a two-for-one deal. For the budget-conscious foodie, it’s a way to experience craft beer elegance without the craft beer price tag that would make your grocery budget weep. Think of it as the culinary equivalent of finding designer jeans at TJ Maxx, all the quality, half the price, and the satisfaction of knowing you’re too savvy to pay full retail. A beer like this at a regular grocery store might be $5-6 a can.
Final Thoughts
The verdict? I am not usually a fan of super heavy beers. Beers that have a lot of funky flavors. But for some reason this works up to a point. If you consider it a true dessert style beer for sipping and keep it to that, instead of guzzling it, then it’s a perfect beer for a cold night with some chocolates after dinner by the fireplace. For busy parents and professionals looking to elevate their evening wind-down without emptying their wallet or spending hours in the kitchen creating a fancy dessert, Hardywood’s Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Porter is like finding the unicorn of adult treats, decadent, convenient, and reasonable enough to justify as a “me-time investment.” Just remember its sneaky 9.2% strength before planning any early morning activities! It packs a punch…
