Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Spice Chardonnay: Deliciously Weird or Just Too Much?

You know it’s fall when Trader Joe’s has to put pumpkin pie spice flavors in everything, including your wine, which seemingly gets a dose of pumpkin spice this year. Enter Trader Joe’s latest concoction: a Chardonnay that’s been sprinkled with enough pumpkin pie spices to make you wonder if you’re sipping on wine or prepping for Thanksgiving dessert. Is it brilliant, or is it bizarre? Pour yourself a glass, and let’s find out if this seasonal sipper is the autumn treat we didn’t know we needed—or the weird wine experiment we never asked for.

I’ve got two quick stories here. The first one… In a previous career, I was the winemaker for a small boutique winery here in Washington State in the Seattle suburbs… this was many years ago when I decided I had had it with the software industry and wanted something to do with my hands. I took a lot of training at places like UC Davis and WSU and at one point was even an instructor at South Seattle Community College in their winemaking program. I’ve tasted tens of thousands of wines and can critically evaluate them. But many times, I will just turn off my analytic wine tasting brain and taste something like this because I know from an objective standpoint it’s going to be awful.

The other quick story is on a trip to Austria many years ago during a ski trip, we were given something called Glühwein (aka mulled or spiced wine) in the evening after a hard day on the slopes. It was spiced sweet wine that is served hot. It tasted great but in small quantities. The wine itself was low quality. I think Trader Joe’s sells something similar around Xmas time.

With those two quick stories out of the way, I wanted to say that appears to be a chardonnay wine, with 6% alcohol which is low and sugar and spices. In the Seattle area, it’s $6.99 but might be a different price if your state allows Trader Joe’s to sell wine. The spices are your typical pumpkin pie spice mix, nutmeg, ginger, cinnamon, cloves, etc. They are listed in the ingredients section. The only other times I have had spiced wine like this is when I drank Glühwein. That is why I bring up this story about Austria. This Pumpkin Pie Spiced Chardonnay strikes me as a very similar taste profile.

Ok, I opened the bottle twist cap (do you think they would waste a cork on this cheap stuff?) and right away you can smell the pumpkin spice flavors crawling out of the bottle. I poured the chilled wine into one of my nice white wine glasses and the smell permeated the air around me.

The wine has a deep rich yellow color that one might mistake for an oak aged Chardonnay, but I am sure this is from the spices coloring the wine. One big sniff of my glass and sure enough, the familiar pumpkin pie spice melange wafted out fo the glass.

Now for the big moment, I tasted it and ugh. This stuff is very sweet and tastes like a pumpkin pie with alcohol. You cannot tasted hardly any of the Chardonnay flavors, must pumpkin spice and cloying sweetness. Yuck, after one sip I dumped the glass, but it got me thinking…

I see a couple of ways to drink this. You could go the mulled wine route and add even more spices and heat it up and serve it on a cold winter night like they do in Austria.

Or you could use it in some wine infused cocktails, especially ones that that use wine… then I realized it could actually be good! I came up with this off the top of my head so it might need some tweaking:

Pumpkin Spice Chardonnay Spritz

Ingredients:

• 4 oz Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Spice Chardonnay
• 2 oz ginger beer (or ginger ale for a sweeter touch)
• 1 oz apple cider
• ½ oz fresh lemon juice
• ½ oz simple syrup (optional, depending on your sweetness preference)
• Club soda or sparkling water, to top
• Cinnamon stick and apple slices, for garnish
• Ice

Instructions:

1. Fill a glass: Fill a large wine glass or cocktail glass with ice cubes.
2. Combine liquids: Pour in the Pumpkin Spice Chardonnay, ginger beer, apple cider, lemon juice, and simple syrup (if using). Stir gently to combine.
3. Top with bubbles: Add a splash of club soda or sparkling water for a fizzy finish.
4. Garnish: Garnish with a cinnamon stick and a few apple slices for a festive, autumnal look.
5. Serve: Sip and enjoy the crisp, spicy, and refreshing blend of flavors!

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This cocktail blends the autumn flavors of apple, ginger, and pumpkin spice with the sweetness of the Chardonnay, making it the perfect fall spritz to pair with cozy evenings or seasonal gatherings!

Then I also thought, if you could make a cake with it, it would be a great way to flavor a fall pumpkin spice cake (this is not a tested recipe, but gleaned from other recipes I saw on the web so it might need some tweaking too).

Pumpkin Spice Chardonnay Cake

Ingredients:

• 1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tsp baking powder
• ½ tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• ½ tsp ground nutmeg
• ¼ tsp ground ginger
• ¼ tsp ground cloves
• ½ tsp salt
• ½ cup unsalted butter, softened
• ¾ cup granulated sugar
• ¼ cup brown sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• ½ cup Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Spice Chardonnay
• ½ cup pumpkin puree (not pumpkin pie filling)
• ½ cup sour cream

For the Glaze:

• 1 cup powdered sugar
• 3 tbsp Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Spice Chardonnay
• 1 tsp vanilla extract

Instructions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease a bundt pan or a 9-inch round cake pan and lightly flour it, tapping out the excess.
2. Mix dry ingredients: In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves, and salt. Set aside.
3. Cream butter and sugars: In a large bowl, beat the softened butter, granulated sugar, and brown sugar together until light and fluffy, about 3-4 minutes. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Stir in the vanilla extract.
4. Combine wet ingredients: In a separate small bowl, whisk together the Pumpkin Spice Chardonnay, pumpkin puree, and sour cream.
5. Mix it all together: Gradually add the dry ingredients to the butter mixture in three parts, alternating with the wet pumpkin-chardonnay mixture, beginning and ending with the dry ingredients. Mix until just combined, being careful not to overmix.
6. Bake: Pour the batter into your prepared cake pan and smooth the top. Bake for 35-40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Let the cake cool in the pan for about 10 minutes, then turn it out onto a wire rack to cool completely.
7. Make the glaze: In a small bowl, whisk together the powdered sugar, Pumpkin Spice Chardonnay, and vanilla extract until smooth. The glaze should be thick but pourable; add more Chardonnay if necessary.
8. Glaze the cake: Once the cake has cooled, drizzle the glaze over the top, letting it drip down the sides.

Optional Topping Ideas:

• Toasted pecans
• Whipped cream
• A dusting of cinnamon or nutmeg

This cake is perfect for fall gatherings and will definitely be a conversation starter with its unique wine-infused flavor. Enjoy!

Final Thoughts

If this was a regular glass of wine with dinner I would give it zero out of 10 stars. It is an awful mess. But if you want to repurpose it into something interesting like a cocktail or a cake, I think the world really opens up for this wine. Hell, a good use might be to just boil a bottle down until it’s a syrup and drizzle over poached pears! But as a sipping wine, yuck!